Walkin Funny
by Jmaka
Summary: Companion piece to last year's Presents under the Tree.


Here is one more Christmas one-shot. Unfortunately I couldn't finish it before the holiday. Family commitments! It's actually a companion piece to last year's Presents under the Tree but you don't have to go back and read that (unless you want to) to read this. Happy Holidays All!

* * *

Walkin' Funny

How did I get myself into this Luke wondered.

It was a rhetorical question. All he had to do was gaze into those beautiful blue eyes and he knew he had his answer. He was a goner. Ever since he'd met Lorelai, he found himself doing silly stuff like making a chuppah or blowing up balloons for a sixteen-year-old's birthday. Anything to bring happiness to those blue eyes.

But this one takes the cake he thought, shifting uncomfortably, paying no attention to the conversation going on around him, trying not to move too much, knowing he would be in trouble if he did. It had all started innocently enough. This year was Anna's turn to have April for Christmas. Lorelai fretted over him about it, knowing he was sad but completely understood that it was only fair and right. They would celebrate Christmas with April in another week and would do it up right.

Then Rory had called to let them know she, too, would be MIA at Christmas and didn't know when she would get back to Stars Hollow. This second blow was a little harder to take. Lorelai had valiantly mustered up her resolve, saying she knew this day would come and that she was fine with it. She told Luke that it all worked out for the best. This was their first Christmas together as husband and wife and she wanted to spend it alone with him. Luke believed her but he could see the sadness that crept into her eyes from time to time.

Luke wracked his brain trying to figure out what he could do to make this Christmas extra-special, to take both of their minds off their otherwise occupied offspring. Problem was, Lorelai was better at coming up with the unique and offbeat than he was until inspiration struck.

He thought back to the previous Christmas. They'd had a wonderful time, the four of them but after Rory and April left…that's when Lorelai got a little wild, wrapping herself up as his Christmas present and it had been the perfect opportunity to propose. At the time she'd hinted about the following year but had never mentioned it again.

Luke had given it careful thought and decided to do it. Lorelai wasn't expecting it and even though it really wasn't his thing, he was that guy who would go to great lengths to see his wife's eyes sparkle. He considered his options and in an effort to come up with something unexpected, he had made the ultimate sacrifice and snuck off to the mall for a specific purchase. He'd never owned anything like this before but then again, for Lorelai, desperate times called for desperate measures.

He just didn't count on it backfiring on him.

Luke arranged his schedule so he would have a half day at work and managed to schedule the following day off coinciding with Lorelai's free day. With Christmas a week away, he figured it would be more of a surprise.

He got home about mid-day and set about straightening up the house, re-aligning the clutter into some semblance of order. He went to the kitchen, made sure there was plenty of wine and beer chilling and prepared some appetizers that they could snack on later. He headed up to the bedroom, stripped the bed and put on clean sheets and straightened up there too, before heading into the bathroom for a shower. He took his time, using the manly shower gel she'd purchased for him. He only used it on occasion, usually grudgingly, when she insisted, preferring plain old soap than some frou-frou, perfumed, pretty-boy stuff that made him think he was a sissy.

After drying off, he padded naked back into the bedroom and pulled out the bag with his purchase from where he'd hidden it in his underwear drawer and laid it on the bed. He went to where he had last seen the holiday items, hoping they were still there and was relieved when they were. He drew out the items and laid them out as well.

Luke let out a deep breath before reaching for the first item. He felt ridiculous but mustered on anyway, knowing it would only be for a little while. He looked at himself and rolled his eyes. He opened the bag and pulled out the meticulously folded item and shook it out. He shook his head at the absurdity of the item.

They are just boxer shorts, he told himself. You wear them all the time. Yes, a little voice replied in his head, but you've never worn silk boxer shorts before. Red silk boxer shorts. With little Santas on them.

She better be happy, he did this or he'd never do anything like this again he vowed. He donned the boxers and paused. After so many years of plain old cotton, the whisper-soft, slippery feel of the fabric, molded and caressed his skin in a very erotic way. It reminded him of Lorelai, her soft hands fondling him, the wisps of her hair teasing him….

He immediately had second thoughts about going through with this. Just wearing the shorts was already getting him fired up. He checked the clock and realizing she would be home in less than an hour, he figured he could handle the warm, silky fabric that clung to his lower body like a second skin, fueling his anticipation for her arrival.

He quickly dressed in his usual jeans, t-shirt and flannel, hoping to make his big reveal all the more jaw-dropping. His regular clothes seemed to ratchet up the sensations even more. The rough material of his jeans rubbing up against him, making him acutely aware of the first item he had put on. But just seeing the surprised look on her face would make this torment worth it.

Satisfied that everything was in order, Luke put on his baseball cap and headed downstairs. The act of walking was definitely taking its toll. The hard/soft combination and the slightly increased tightness of the other item was scattering his wits and making him focus on only one thing.

He was just passing the foyer when the front door opened and Lorelai burst into the house.

"Thank god, you're here," she exclaimed. She was looking a bit frazzled.

"What's wrong?" he asked concerned.

"I went to the diner but Cesar said you'd already gone. My parents stopped by the Inn as I was leaving." She gave him a panicked look. "I need you to stick close. They have a couple of hours before their plane leaves for St. Lucia and they thought they'd spend it with us."

"With us?" Luke echoed. Noticing she was all alone, he had to ask, "Where are they?"

"Lorelai," Emily's droll voice sounded a bit peeved as she entered the house. "You rushed right in here without waiting for us! Oh, Luke," she acknowledged his presence, "you are here."

"Luke!" Richard greeted him warmly as he came through the door. "It's good to see you!" He stepped forward and shook Luke's hand.

"Ah, Richard, Emily," he nodded at both of them, somewhat tongue-tied. He was always slightly wary of Lorelai's parents. Since their marriage, their icy disapproval had thawed somewhat, particularly in Richard's case but he was still careful of anything he said or did around them. He wanted them to have no doubt that he was making Lorelai happy.

"Well, aren't you going to invite us in?" Emily inquired. "It's rude to leave us standing in the foyer."

"Uh, Mom, you kind of caught us by surprise with this unannounced visit," Lorelai tried to explain. "We aren't really prepared for guests."

"Nonsense," Richard replied, peeking into the living room, "the house looks wonderful!"

Lorelai turned to point out the highlights of the messy room only to find that the room was indeed in order. She shot an inquiring glance at Luke. He shrugged, slightly apologetic, for taking away her excuse. Richard and Emily proceeded into the living room, relaxing comfortably on the couch. Both Luke and Lorelai remained in the hallway, startled at how the elder Gilmore's quickly made themselves at home.

"Well, we don't have anything to serve you," Lorelai offered in a small voice.

Luke saw the disapproval building in Emily's eyes and piped up in Lorelai's defense, "Actually, we can offer you some wine and a little something for you to snack on."

"We can?" Lorelai turned to him, shocked.

"Go sit down and I'll bring in the refreshments," Luke told her.

As Luke began walking to the kitchen, he was sharply reminded of what he had originally planned for the wine and appetizers. He gritted his teeth, not only that his careful preparations had gone for naught, but the fact that he would have to suffer longer than he'd anticipated. He knew Lorelai wouldn't let him out of her sight long enough that he could remove the titillating items. The rubbing silk was a constant reminder, stoking his desires for spending a blissful afternoon making love to Lorelai in bed or wherever the spirit moved them. He quickly poured the wine and put it on a tray then grabbed the plate of appetizers and carefully walked back into the living room grateful he had on one of his baggier flannel shirts.

"Here we are," Luke said, putting his best game face on.

As he offered the wine to Emily, she looked at him curiously. "Luke, are you hurt?"

"Hurt?" Luke repeated his brow furrowing. "No. What makes you ask?"

"Well, you are walking rather stiffly like you may have sprained an ankle or twisted your knee."

"No, I'm fine," he offered lamely. It wasn't an ankle or a knee that was his problem, he thought darkly. He set the appetizers down and continued making the rounds with the wine.

"Are you sure you're alright?" Lorelai scrutinized. "You are walkin' funny."

"I'm fine," Luke insisted. He eased himself into a chair, grateful that his shirt was hiding all evidence to the contrary. The gradual tightening sensation was driving him up a wall and even the cold shower presence of Richard and Emily was doing nothing to slow down the pooling heat in his lower body.

"So when does your flight leave?" Lorelai asked abruptly.

Richard checked his watch, "We have to be at the airport in about ninety minutes."

"That doesn't leave you a lot of time," Lorelai pointed out. "I'm surprised you took the time to come out to Stars Hollow."

"Well," Emily explained, "after hearing that both Rory and April wouldn't be here for the holidays, we thought the least we could do was come by and have a little visit." She held up her hands, "I know we don't come anywhere near replacing your girls" she cast her gaze at both of them, "but we wanted you both to see some family before Christmas."

"Awww, Mom," Lorelai began, genuinely touched, "that's very nice of you." She took heart that her mother had warmed to Luke enough to include him and April as part of the family. She wandered over to where Luke was sitting and perched on the armrest, sliding her arm around his shoulders and rubbing his upper arm, leaning against him. "Isn't that sweet?" she asked him.

"Very," Luke replied shortly. The added stimulus of Lorelai leaning up against him and touching him was adding to his agony.

Lorelai knitted her brow and eyed him critically, noticing he was a little flushed. "Are you sure you're alright?" She caught an unusual scent coming from him and couldn't place it.

"I'm fine," he grumbled, sure he was in hell.

Lorelai decided to let the matter drop for now. She made polite chit-chat with her parents about their holiday plans, how she and Luke were having a quiet Christmas and April's upcoming visit after the holidays. They also talked about Rory, how they would all miss her and idly speculated on when she might be returning to Stars Hollow.

As they chatted, Lorelai noticed that Luke offered the barest minimum to the discussion and each response was practically pried out of his mouth. She had leaned closer to him and occasionally nudged him hoping to spur his interest in the conversation but he seemed even more close-mouthed and for some reason, extremely tense.

Finally, it was time for Richard and Emily to leave. As they all rose, Lorelai couldn't help but notice how rigidly Luke held himself. Once her parents left, she would get to the bottom of this.

Luke was exceedingly grateful that his torment would soon be at an end. He was on fire and Lorelai had unwittingly increased his self-induced torture. He knew he'd not shown his better side but hoped for once the Gilmore's would be merciful.

And for once they were. Richard hugged his daughter and clapped his son-in-law on the back as he shook his hand. Emily went so far as to not only kiss Lorelai on the cheek but Luke as well. Luke and Lorelai stood in the doorway, waving to them as the drove off, waiting until they were out of sight before closing the door.

"Alright, mister," Lorelai began in a no-nonsense tone rounding on him. "What is the deal here? You're Mr. Hospitality, cleaning up the house and preparing food, like you expected them to show up, then Monosyllabic Man strikes again." Lorelai gave him a concerned look, stepped forward and laid a hand on his chest. "Are you sick?" She felt a wave of panic. "Talk to me Luke!"

Luke grabbed her hand and started pulling her towards the stairs.

"Luke!" Lorelai's voice went up an octave in protest. She had no choice but to follow him up the stairs. He led her into the bedroom and sat her on the bed. A casual glance around showed that he cleaned up here too.

"Lorelai," Luke blew out a long breath, hoping to calm himself down. He knew she needed an explanation. He only hoped he could hold out long enough to give it. Standing still seemed to be helping, but he knew he was running out of time. "This so isn't how I planned this afternoon. The wine, the appetizers…."

"The hell with that," she brushed that off, more worried about him. "Tell me what's wrong."

"Nothing is wrong," Luke said, taking off his cap and tossing it aside. "I'd just gotten to thinking about how sad you were that Rory wouldn't be here for Christmas."

"And April too," she reminded him.

"And April too," he repeated, unbuttoning his shirt. Lorelai watched him, a little confused.

"So I was wracking my brain and I remembered last year," he began. His shirt came off and he tugged off his t-shirt.

"Uh-huh," Lorelai said, her eyes wandered over his bare chest, distracted, before she thought to ask the question. "Last year?"

"Remember under the tree?" he prompted toeing off his boots and then his socks.

"Um," It took Lorelai a moment to cast her mind back due to the impromptu striptease her husband was giving her but then it dawned on her. Her mouth fell open in pleasant surprise. "Really?"

Luke undid the button on his jeans and unzipped the fly. "I kind of went one step further…." He slid off his jeans and pushed them until gravity took over and they fell to the floor. He kicked them aside.

Lorelai's eyes popped as she gazed at the boxers. She started to laugh. "Santas? You're wearing Santa boxers? In silk?" She also took note of the very large erection ruining the line of the material.

"Now maybe you understand why I acted the way I did. How do you walk around all day wearing silk panties and not think about….it," he finished.

She continued chuckling as it all came together. "Oh my god, you poor baby. You should have said something."

"I couldn't very well announce to your parents that they spoiled my plans to spend the afternoon in bed with you."

"No, you couldn't," she admitted, still laughing. "So, silky boxers really do it for you, huh?"

"Not exactly," Luke replied, his hands going to the waistband. He slowly eased the boxers off and let them drop.

"Oh my god!" Lorelai suddenly identified the scent on him and eyed him in disbelief. "I can't believe you willing did this!"

Luke looked down to where her eyes were riveted. He'd tied the red ribbon about the base of his shaft. The ribbon was a bit stretched. Feeling the heat of her gaze on him, made him harden even more. "It wasn't nearly this tight when I first tied it on."

Lorelai fell back on the bed with laughter. "Oh my god, this is perfect!"

"Of all the responses I expected, laughter wasn't one of them," he said sulkily.

Lorelai immediately sat up and tried to reign in her laughter. "You got it all wrong, Luke," she stood up and walked toward him. "I'm not laughing at you," she said, stray giggles escaping her lips. "I'm laughing in delight that I have such a wonderful, thoughtful," she cast her eyes downward and said impishly, "and adventurous husband who'd go to any lengths to make me happy." She slipped her arms around him and pulled his head down for a kiss. "I love you," she smiled at him encouragingly.

"I love you too," Luke replied. His arms went around her and his hands cupped her ass not only bringing her closer but reminding him that she was still fully clothed. He plucked at her blouse, "Aren't you just a tad over-dressed?"

"Why, yes I am," she agreed, then her infamous pout made an appearance. "I wish I'd of known. I would have worn some sexy underwear today. All I have on is white cotton."

"Trust me at this point, that'll do," he assured her, nuzzling her neck as he helped her with the buttons.

"The Santa hat," Lorelai gasped as Luke's hands glided down her stomach to unsnap her pants.

"On your pillow. You wear it," Luke offered, not wanting to wear the hat.

They half-stumbled to the bed as Luke eased down her pants. She kicked off her shoes and the pants and stepped back and posed in her white Fruit-of-the-Looms.

"I have no idea when you got something so plain," he growled, "but it looks hot."

Lorelai grabbed the Santa hat and put it on his head. "Okay, Santa, you've been more than patient. Time to open my gift."

"Thank god," Luke said fervently.

Lorelai quickly turned them around and gave him a playful shove so he fell back on the bed, spread-eagled. She backed up slightly, reveling in his dark gaze admiring every inch of her body. She made quick work of her bra, letting it fall to the floor, noticing the lecherous glint in his eyes as he took in her erect nipples. She slowly bent over, easing her panties off, her eyes locked on the red ribbon and his erection, bobbing in excitement.

"Lorelai, you're killing me," Luke moaned. He felt like he was about to burst.

Her eyes raked his body with the wickedest of looks, promising much. She crawled onto the bed next to him, shivering at the sensations his now-wandering hands evoked. Her own hand glided up his inner thigh and she cupped him, feeling the throbbing life nestled in her hand. Luke eyes closed involuntarily and he made a strangled sound. Lorelai smiled, her nimble fingers catching the end of the ribbon and pulling on it slowly, freeing him. Luke's mouth dropped open and he let out a shaky breath. Once the ribbon was completely untied, Lorelai wound it up his shaft to the tip, then slowly pulled the ribbon up and off him, letting the satiny material tease the length of his shaft.

"I'm not gonna last much longer," he warned her. His eyes were tightly closed, his face taking on heroic proportions as he strived to hold of the inevitable.

She moved to straddle him, waiting until he opened his eyes and met her gaze. "Then let go," she said simply as she plunged down on him.

The endless titillation of the afternoon was too much for Luke. Lorelai barely managed a second plunge before he rolled them over, thrusting hard and fast into her. She curled her body around him, meeting his thrusts with everything she had, wanting him to have his pleasure. She knew he was trying to hold out until she was satisfied but at the moment, his gratification was more important. Afterward they'd play.

Lorelai flexed her internal muscles around his engorged shaft, tugging, coaxing him to let his pent up frustrations from the afternoon go. Luke made an inarticulate sound of denial but she decided to be ruthless. As he plunged into her she slipped her hand down and gave his balls a very friendly squeeze.

His body jerking like he'd received an electric shock, Luke exploded, frantically driving deeply into her, the force of his release radiating throughout her body as she urged him on, nails lightly dragging down his back, her thighs locked around his hips, beckoning him to take his fill of her. He continued on, incoherent shouts, each thrust drawing out his orgasm. Finally he collapsed on top of her.

Lorelai held Luke to her, clutching him tightly, feeling his out-of-control breathing gradually smooth out as he relaxed, content with this physical closeness to the man who was her world.

With an effort Luke raised his head. "I'm sorry," he said hoarsely.

"I'm not," she smiled back at him. She fingered the soft fur of the Santa hat, surprised Luke had left it on. After everything Luke had done before they were married and now that they were. He deserved the very best.

"But this was supposed to be your present," he pointed out.

"Didn't you say something about the entire afternoon?" she questioned leadingly with a grin.

"And tomorrow," he added.

"Tomorrow, too?" She gaped in delight. "You really put some thought into this."

"I certainly did," he promised, grinning at her wolfishly. He gently withdrew and shifted them so Lorelai lay on her pillow, her dark hair fanned out.

Luke slowly gazed at her body. "Now, let's see," he pondered. "Let's start," his lips moved to her ear lobe, "here."

Lorelai let out a giggle, "That tickles."

"Hmmm," Luke replied, the vibration of his lips sending a shiver through her. He moved down to feast on the sensitive spot on her neck.

Lorelai's hand reached up to massage his neck, accidentally knocking the fluffy tassel forward. Without stopping his loving assault, he grasped her hand and pressed a soft kiss in her palm before guiding it to the bed beside her, patting it indicating he wanted it to stay there. Luke gazed into her eyes as they shared warm glance. He resumed his previous undertaking, mapping her body with his mouth, feathering kisses along her jaw before settling on her lips, his tongue requesting entrance which was immediately granted.

Luke leisure explored the warm cavity of her mouth and the only sound in the room was their soft labored breathing. Luke broke the kiss, working his way down her chin, then her throat. An errant giggle escaped Lorelai's lips as the soft white fur ball tickled her nose. She could feel Luke lip's curve into a smile, then wandered lower to her chest.

Lorelai sighed, her eyes half-closed, her body relaxed, open and accepting of whatever Luke had in mind. She had to admit so far he had lulled her into a twilight state of bliss. Her body was highly attuned to every flick of his tongue, every nibbling kiss.

Luke made his way to her breasts, his hand curling around the trembling mounds, the heat of his fingers exploring the whole breast. His head dipped to the pale pink buds and he suckled them in turn. The slow rough flicks of his tongue running over the sensitive peaks caused Lorelai to emit a shaky "Oh".

Lorelai's fingers clenched the sheet, griping great handfuls in an effort to hold out and experience everything he had planned. She was coming to know what he'd gone through earlier, impatiently waiting until they could be alone.

After an eternity, Luke moved lower, but that damned tassel brought up his wake. The strands further teasing her damp nipples. Lorelai arched her back, not sure if Luke was aware of additional stimulus the hat was providing but the fact that he hadn't removed it, led her to believe he knew exactly what he and the hat was doing to her.

As Luke traced his way down her ribcage, Lorelai suddenly felt his fingers work their way between her thighs. Her legs automatically relaxed and parted to his questing hand. Lorelai shut her eyes completely, her mind's eye seeing what she was feeling. "Luke, you're killing me."

Luke was sucking her belly button. He freed his mouth briefly to say, "Not yet," before his lips fused to her body again. Lorelai became acutely aware that his fingers, that had been stroking her folds, were finally nudging their way to the prize. Luke pulled his mouth from her body to gage her reaction as he swept his forefinger over her clit. Lorelai groaned, her hips bucking up and bringing her hard against his hand. Her head turned from side-to-side wantonly. Luke smiled, pleased at her response.

His fingers then went to work, rubbing, tugging, pressing his thumb on her clit and rotating it in a circle. The dam burst and Lorelai hurtled over the edge.

"Luke!" she half-rose off the bed. She was soaring aloft, her body torn free from its confines as the waves crashed through her again and again. Luke kept at her, literally holding her in his hand as his fingers danced across her, plucking at the strings of her aching desires. Lorelai writhed on the bed, too far gone to be aware of incoherent babbling or her gyrations on the bed, courtesy of Luke's hand.

He slowly eased up on her and she eventually quieted, floating adrift on a sea of contentment, eyes closed, lips curved, Luke's name softly slipping from her lips from time to time. She was acutely aware that though she was sated for the moment, her body was still on a sensual high and not ready for the interlude to end.

Luke pressed a soft kiss on her belly, somewhat in awe of the spectacle of her response, feeling both awed and extremely pleased that he had been responsible for bringing her to such a state. She moaned softly when he dropped a second kiss, his stubble scraping deliciously across her sensitized nerve endings.

Lorelai's belly quivered in response as Luke's lips blazed a trail down her belly. The tassel tickled her deliciously as he settled himself between her thighs. Both hands spread her lower lips and his tongue flicked out, the rough texture catapulting her up once again. Her hips surged up to his hot mouth and he lavished the same attention to her clit that he had to her breasts.

"Luke," she gasped as she was consumed by a second intense orgasm. She rode his mouth, frantically straining against him as he persistently attended to her. He never lost his place, her cries of ecstasy spurring him on. He nipped and suckled her as if he couldn't get enough.

Luke eased off slightly and Lorelai was able to catch her breath, able to relax but also eager to see what he would do next. Even though she had thoroughly enjoyed how he tended to her needs, she wanted to hold him, feel him inside her.

He did not disappoint. He rose up, bracing his arms on either side of her and lowered himself onto her. She gave him a welcoming smile as she felt him slowly press himself into her opening.

"Mmmmm," she moaned as he kissed her.

Luke plunged into her carefully. He didn't want to overtax her. He was keenly aware that this encounter was both prolonged and extremely intense. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt her. He varied his angle and his strokes, lazily thrusting, gently merging into her scalding wetness. He felt her muscles tremble and come back to life, coiling around him. He slid his hands around to cup her ass, helping her meet the steady plunges. Her hands slipped down his back, caressingly.

Time stood still as their gentle coupling continued. Neither was aware of how long it took to work their way up to that teetering peak but suddenly it was upon them. Lorelai spasmed just as Luke went over the edge. Their voices mingled in soft declarations of love that echoed in each other's ears as their passion was spent for the moment.

They were slow in parting from one another; both perfectly relaxed, equally giving and taking comfort and basking in the afterglow.

"Wow," Lorelai finally managed. She relished the aftermath, snuggled up against him. It was wonderful, that feeling of peace.

Luke chuckled as he looked down at the face he loved so much. "We aren't done yet," he promised. "We still have tonight and tomorrow, if you're up for it."

"Give me a little time to recuperate and I'll definitely be ready," she assured him.

"I probably should go down and fix some more appetizers," he said regretfully. He didn't want to leave her but he knew she would need food sooner or later.

"Later," she told him. She didn't want him straying right now. "Best Christmas present ever," she admitted shyly. "Way better than last year."

"Really?" he questioned, in disbelief.

"Oh yeah," Lorelai reassured him. They were going to have a lot of time to themselves over the next two weeks and suddenly the idea of just the two of them celebrating the holiday alone was very attractive. "There's just one thing though."

"What's that?"

Her eyes were sparkling. "After tomorrow, I think we'll both be walkin' funny."

Luke laughed as he kissed her again.

The End.


End file.
